going fishing!

How come there seem to be no decent guys out there?
How come guys think it's okay to play girls and mess them around? And by girls i mean decent good girls that in every way would make a perfect girlfriend? And most importantly, do guys think that they can get away with it?
I'm not liking how disppointing romantic relationships are becoming. Not just for me but for 99% of people who i've been talking to. And the decent guys out there get messed around by skanky, chlamydia infested girls.
The universe is soo imbalanced. I get so upset when girls tell me of their unfortunate encounters and experience with dickhead guys and how they mess girls around so bad.

Most guys have soo much confidence in getting girls that when they "have" the girl, they forget how to keep her around. And half the time, why they wanted her in the first place.
They want to be appreciated and loved. They want to be told cute things and be held really tight. They want to be the little spoon and be commented on how beautiful they look or how their hair smells nice.
But over all, girls just want to be wanted. That's it really.

WHERE ARE ALL THE DECENT GUYS OUT THERE!?
I'm going fishing, so the saying goes and i hope i catch a good one!

The Spill Canvas

My favorite songs by The Spill Canvas... Just incase you guys were wondering and all =)

*Lullaby
*3685
*One Thing Is For Sure
*All Hail The Heartbreaker
*This Is For Keeps
*So Much
*Polygraph! Right Now!
*The Tide
*Connect The Dots

I Miss You

I hate being away from dad for so long. I havent seem him in, what would be, months now (due to him being away with work) and i miss the tight squeezes and sloppy kisses he would give me. I miss how he would let me do my own thing and understand why i loved my space; being in my room with my music on loud, when even i dont. I miss how we would call eachother gay names like "pumpkin" and "scumpican". And i miss how when he would be getting ready for work, and he had to wear, what looked like a black, tight body suit, and do this overly hilarious ninja dance and prance around the house like a spy.
There is no telling on when he will be home. Could be tomorrow, could be in two months time. Yes, there is skype and the phone but it isnt the same. Dad understands a part of me that no one else does. He is so quiet and will never say anything that isnt relivent to the conversation. The silence dad brings is the best noise in the world.
He is critical on my driving and beknowns to him how i will ever get my P's.
And the smile he presents on his face when a thought or idea arises in his head.
I love that smile.
I love that squeezy hug and sloppy kisses.
I love my dad.

I miss my dad and i'm not afraid to say so.

I think i've found it.

Anyone who knows me knows that i an constantly changing my future occupation.
Well boys and girls dont stress because i think i have found it! I think i have found the job that i am looking for. The job that wont change and it is perfect.
Communication Manager for a record label; promoting bands, helping them with their needs, organising press releases, label deals, photo shoots, advertising them etc.
Usually when i find a job i like, i always look at what it takes for me to get there. And when the UAI (or ATAR) is too high or i would be at uni for 8 years i simply move on and forget. But i'm not moving on. All i have to do is a Bachelor of Communication with Nil assummed knowledge and a UAI (2009) of 79.50. And i'm at uni for 3-4 years!
Ohh, how excited i am!

no title for this blog

for the simple fact i cant think of one. so i guess that "no tile for this blg" is the title. i'm going to lol to that (hah). i'm getting sick. not snotty nose or watery eyes sick but sore throat and chest sick. i hope he worst if over before the weekend PLEASE GOD! i hate being sick, for the fact i rarely am sick. and when i do get sick, i become bed ridden which isnt good except for chicken and corn soup and movies that i've seen about 20 times over. other than that there isnt a real upside in being sick. no one wants to see or visit you in fair of becoming sick themselves. so being sick can be lonely. and i hate being lonely, like really hate it.
i told tam before that i can smell popcorn and it smells gross. i like popcorn but this popcorn must be original because it smells ick.
15 days of school left guys!
let the games begin!!

Hey Monday

Today was better then yesterday. I woke up at 10ish to the sounds of (what i thought) people breaking into my house. Turns out it was the T.V my sister left on before school. Greeeeat; waking up to a near heart attack is soo fun!

Not Well.

Not well emotionally, physically or mentally.
I am so over this rollercoaster, i just want to get off. I'm constanly tired and can't be bothered to do anything. I'm sick of the face i put on for everyone. I just want everything to be good. I want to stop hurting people; i want certain people to just go away from me. I just want to make sence.
I hate this, i hate stress and confusion and disorganisation.
I want truth and i want honesty and i want more than anything to forget the past and move on to the future.
I know tomorrow will be better; right now i'm not well.

Frazer Beach

This is my new favorite place. It is ranked first with One Mile Beach.
This beach is like your own little piece of heaven. Tyler took Tori and I for a drive here and my god; i fell in love.
The drive here is amazing and with plenty of opportunities for a pretty picture or seven. The sand on the beach is my favorite; corn flour sand (to me, the sand feels like corn flour) and not many people know of Frazer Beach or even on how to get there.
I am so inlove with that place and seriously cannot wait on returning with my camera and sketch pad!

Miss that feeling.

I really miss the feeling of being in a relationship. I dont miss the person, but the feeling that person brang. The fact of having someone there to be cute with, to share secrets and to have adventures with. I miss the company and the affection. I miss that feeling and i miss being that feeling.

Sierra Montana

I know i have blogged about these guys before but i just cant get enough.
A Sydney bad trying to make it big overseas. I just love their music. The lyrics, the beat, the meaning behind the song. I love their music. New favorite band
.

My Hope

Last night i was outside and i gazed up at the sky and it was black. Pitch black. Then i saw this bright star, just out of no where. It was so beautiful and amazing; i was in complete awe.
To me, that star was my hope; for a better day, for forgiveness, my hope for excitement and enjoyment. My hope for love and passion, for fun and laughter. For creativity and for courage, My hope for myself, my family and for my friends.
Sometimes all we need is a little hope.

Explain To Me

Explain to me how guys think girls are confusing, moody and emotional?
have they ever looked at themselves and seen how they behave and how they are? girls are only portrayed as moody and emotional because of "that time of the month".
guys are more moody, more confusing than 10 girls put together, and they somehow turn it around so the girls get the blame.
ITS CALLED MALE PMS (low sperm count).

My Confession.

I love music! Especially when i am watching Channel [V] and i instantly fall in love with a song! The best feeling ever!
So right now i am absolutely loving the band Sierra Montana and their songs "My Confession" and "Wrap My Arms". Such beautiful songs!

Today i went out to Ripples On The Lake with Tori and Beth for Tori's 16th birthday!
Woooo for being sweet 16!!!!
And then afterwards i went to see Whip It with mum and Edyn. I loved that movie and have got my eye on a few other movies i want to see when they come out like Time Travellers Wife, New Moon and The Taking Of Pelham 123.
Greater Union is going to LOVE me over the next few months.

Losing something

Today i came across a quote, and after i thought about this quote, it came really clear that in some areas it is really true;
The biggest way to lose something is to want it too badly.

"Feel Good" days

I love feel good days and today was just that. Nothing overly exciting happened for it to be a feel good day, actually nothing at all happened. I just felt really good today, which is what i needed. I havent felt good in a while.
Tomorrow is Torza's 16th so hopefully we will be going out for lunch. I love Torza and when she gets her L's we will be drag racing!!

Beauty And The Geeks

IM LOVING THIS SHOW!
God i feel so sory for these guys but i cant help but love it!
Today i got called into work and dispite feeling sick its money in my piggy bank. Mum came into work and bought me bra's and undies that were on sale... With my discount card.
Thanks mum!

Feeling

Cute couples, romance movies, love songs, memories are some of the things that remind me of what it was like to be with someone. And how much i miss that. How i miss the phone calls just to say "I love you", or the cuddles before bed or the late night chats where chatting turned into falling asleep in their arms.
I cant describe the feeling and i cant wait to have it again.

Cant get enough

Of Mayday Parade. Seriously am wanting to marry a musican. Such a turn on lol.
Today i woke up at 12 to the sound of my sister and cousins banging on the door. If the didnt bang on that door i swear i would have slept until 3. I find sleeping in a waste of time, sometimes but i was in the mood to waste one day of holidays on sleeping.
Im so bored.
Like really bored.
Its unbelievable.
I want to go out, somewhere; anywhere.
Hmmmmm.
Someone talk to me.. Call me... ANYTHING.
Cure my bored self.

Tomorrow i am going shoe shopping for the formal. I tried on my dress again today and loved it. The feel of the dress and everything. I love it.
Tune in tomorrow for another blog. Hopefully somethng exciting would have happened and my blogs will be worth the read

Shhhh

Wanna know a secret?
Recently (as of a few weeks ago) i have been painting. Nothing "Mona Lisa" just whatever my head and hand feels like creating. So when i am stressed or confused or upset, i head to a canvas with my paints and my music in right by me and paint away.
It has actually gotten me through recent bad times and painting has been a theapy to me. Who would have thought that i am really interested in art and paint. Definitily no talent but its all in the good happy name of fun. I love painting and sketching also.
Thats a secret so dont tell anyone!

Today

Today i went to Tori's house and we ate cookie dough. We watched Amityville Horror (2005 remake). It was WOW! Then we went for a walk and took millions of photos. I loved the day i spent with Tori. I love her very much.
Currently struggling to write a new "About Me". Nothing is inspiring me or vamping me to write. Aggggh.
Other then that, life is goooooooooooooooooooooooooood
x

Playlist.

i love your existance, goot
Come Back Home, James Town Fiction.
Swing Swing, All-American Rejects.
Wasted, Cartel.
Over You, Acceptance.
Save Your Heart, Mayday Parade.
Stuttering, The Friday Night Boys

its monday, its raining and im home. not working at all this week which is AMAZING (i can enjoy my holidays) and next week going camping with han, jess and phoebe.
its tori's birthday this weekend so lunch with tori and beth is going to be great!.
i love feathers xx

hickups

when i have the hickups, i can feel my heart racing through my eardrums, as if my heart is in my ear. I dont like that feeling. Needless to say dear children; i currently have the hickups...

Save Your Heart.

Save Your Heart by Mayday Parade.
This song (these lyrics especially) are true beyond explaination.

Save your heart
For someone that's worth dying for.
Save your heart
For someone who leaves you breathless.
And I know that you're scared
Seems like someone said you had it in you
(Are you scared?)
All along, you said you knew this was wrong
But still worth dying for

thrusday

who declaired thursday nights "late night"? is it that we can stay up later on thursday nights than we would any other night and not feel tired?
that really stumps me.

planet unicorn

i love stupidity with a passion. why be serious all the time?

not a 100%

i was thinking about it last night before bed and i realised that no one really knows my, not 100%, not fully. i dont think anyone knows anyone that 100%. and it isnt anyones fault. we all change daily; moods, ideas, life goals etc.
no one knows why my favorite song and movie is my favorite song and movie. no one knows why my favorite place in the world is my favorite place in the world.
its the little secrets, the little "unknowns" that keep life interesting, that gives life "NO BORING BITS!".

i want this ^

two sided toast

when i cant decide what to have on my toast and i only feel like one piece, i make a light line on the toast and spread half the side with vegemite and the other with nutella (but i eat one side at the time.. otherwise that would be strange hah).
i remembered once i saw tam do it on saturday morning.
and i love how smells or actions can trigger memories.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
im very much so looking forward to the holidays. so many plans and soo much fun ahead.

im realy loving will and grace at ze momento

TTT

its phoebes birthday today. and i love her alot. she asked my on saturday night to write a blog on her and name it "TTT" because we discovered something really funny to do with "TTT".
phebz is 16 today and i hope she gets her L's because i love when she is happy.
phoebz brings out the happiness in me, just like all my friends but when she is happy i know everything will be good. and did i mention i love her alot?
well i do. she even gave me half a honeycomb crunch biscuit! and its her birthday today!!
she is soo nice.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHEBZ!

i am going on holidays tomorrow (making today monday with tori. i need a holiday to get away from all the crap that has gone on. i plan on coming back with a clear mind and awesome tan =)

have a great week guys, i plan on it =)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

My Room

Is like my sancuary. It is cool in summer and toasty in winter. It has all my favorite things in it like my sketch pad, dvd's, music, photo's etc. All it needs is a bathroom and a fridge and guys, im all set.

Today is "races" day. Going to the races with mumma and going to dress nice.
Then going to a party tonight. And in three days i am going up to Manning Point.
For the reason being i need an escape. Im sick of being where i currently am in all situations so im going on a holiday to get away from everything.
Hello to beach everyday, shopping and nights out!!

And right now im LOVING "She Wolf" by Shakira.

All You Need To Hear

"Right here, right now
i need you somehow
to take whatever it is away
so i can believe
that you're right along side of me"

My favorite song right now...

I like Thursdays (not only because i dont work thrusday noghts anymore) but because it is my favorite day of the week. This may sound totally strange but i love looking forward to the weekend and on Thursday i think "Ohk, one more day till the weekend!" for me my weekend starts on fridays for some strange reason.
And i loe the feeling of the feeling i get when the weekend comes.
love it, love it, love it!!

And this weekend i am not working at all so HELLO to hanging with the girls and party Sat night!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

p.s; i love campbells daily song suggestions.
soon we will have identical ipods

SUNDANCE KIDS!

I declair SUNDANCE KIDS as my favorite band of all time, above all other bands.
all there songs are amazing (including my favorite "all I need to hear" aka my myspace profile song) and if anyone knows when they are playing in newcastle or sydney next contact me!!

hanfans birthday TOMORROW!

god im in a great mood right now!!!!!!
=)
;)
:0
:)
=D
:D
;D



mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Silly Boys- Lady Gaga.

Dont you just love people who lie to you? Or tell you things and do the opposite?
But the hardest and worst thing is how you find out about the lies.
And how afterwards you feel so stupid for believing them. Like if someone said that we will see what happens after the HSC, you believe that although it is currently over, it may be revisited. But when that person is having interests in someone else it truly makes you wonder;
1. Did they even care about me to begin with?
2. I obviously didnt mean anything to them for them to move on so quickly
3. Is he planning on coming back? And if he is, does he truly think that i wouldnt know anything?
Boys are clueless. Absolutely 100%. We always find out the truth, ALWAYS.
And nooooo way will i ever date someone who thinks i can be played or lied to.
Not going to happen, Never again.

It is marvelous to how our eyes can open. How blinded we are when in a relationship. We turn a blind eye to alot of things and when the relationship is over, your eyes open up to how stupid you were to ever let those things slide.


So i am loving single life. Now i can truly be happy and not worry about someone else for a change. I can truly be myself and have the fun i havent had in a very long time!!

i lovee it!

i just am so happy about life in general!
beaching it all weekend, relaxing all night with the girls and working will be more bearable since i love payday!
i am so excited about this summer (and i am very aware it is spring but i think spring will be skipped this year.) and the holidays, memories and laughs that will be with it. i am going to write a list of things to do in my holidays with the girls and stick to it.



WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

the friday night boys

by far my favorite band this week.
loving "molly make-out", "girl you blow my mind" and "give it up".

holidaying in two weeks!

9/9/09.

today is liams sisters birthday. 9/9/09.... and she is turned 9!
i find that very amazing.
today was an okay day...

God.

I hope there is one out there somewhere. a mysterious being or something greater than beings. when i was little i would pray to "god" everynight. for my family, for my friends and for myself. i prayed that everyone would grow up happy and healthy and get everything they wanted.
if there is a god, i dont think he likes me right now.

on a totaly different note, Goodbye by Secondhand Serenade is a song at the top of my playlist. Thanks to Sammy for helping me revisit the much loved song it explains everything. And that song is true 110%.
I am never going to go back to a loveless or dishonest relationship again. it is so over and never will happen again. i blamed myself and i now realise i am not to blame and i never will be. too many lies and not enough truth. its time to try moving on and forget the losers we lost.


Goodbye, Secondhand Serenade;
It's a shame that it had to be this way
It's not enough to say I'm sorry
It's not enough to say I'm sorry

Maybe I'm to blame
Or maybe were the same
But either way I can't breathe
Either way I can't breathe

All I had to say is goodbye
Were better off this way
Were better off this way

I'm alive but I'm losing all my drive
Cause everything we've been through
And everything about you
Seemed to be a lie
A guiltless twisted lie
It made me learn to hate you
Or hate myself for letting it pass by

All I had to say is goodbye
Were better off this way
Were better off this way
All I had to say is goodbye
Were better off this way
Were better off this way

And every, everything isn't only
What it seemed so hold these
Words that you never told me
Its time to say goodbye
Its time to say goodbye
Its time to say goodbye
Goodbye

Bye

Take my hand away
Spell it out
Tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong

Take my hand away
Spell it out
Tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong

Take my hand away
Spell it out
Tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong

I was your door mat.

love is pain.. and it still hurts.
everyday it gets harder and harder. there are good days and bad days. and i know i am not to blame. you used me and took me for granted. i was your door mat. i sit by the window wishing you'd realise the mistake you made. i am still waiting, but it wont be forever.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder;

or does it? wise words of Lucas Scott (hot name, i know). but how does absence makes the heart grow fonder? i think it does because from my own experience absence makes the heart fall out of love. but i guess if it is true love (if you believe it true love) then the absence will make the heart grow fonder. if it isnt then the absence wont make the heart grow fonder.
and whilst im still in my "love rules!" fase i'd just like to say that there are two sides to love just like there are two sides to a relationship; the girl side and the boy side.
girls always give and try to over exceed the boys expections so they are the ones feeling special and wanted, and the boys throw a good complement once and i while, tell you what you want to hear just so you take your pants off and then when they get what they want, the go back to being idiotic boys.
absence made my heart grow fonder... but when their heart didnt grow fonder, whats what really hurts.
but i still stay the same. i still believe the same and no way will i try and be or think different.

Rain

have you ever noticed that before it rains, and i mean really rains, like pouring, the rain drops slowly at first. then they get heavier and heavier? have you ever noticed that the sound of rain can have a soothing; peaceful; calm nature?
the rain makes me think of what used to be and what can be. rain to me is the sign of new beginings, new adventures and new memories.
i love the rain. i love the way it smells and sounds and feels.
rain beings me old memories in hope of new ones.

soundwave and big day out 2010!

im excited beyond my own control! The begining of next year is going to be amazing!
i wish it was 2010 already!

Soundwave Line Up;
Faith No More
My Chemical Romance
Janes Addiction
AFI
Paramore
HIM
Alexisonfire
Taking Back Sunday
Trivium
Sunny Day Real Estate
Eagles Of Death Metal
The Get Up Kids
Reel Big Fish
Meshuggah
All Time Low
A Day To Remember
It Dies Today
Escape The Fate
Clutch
Isis
Gallows
A Wilhelm Scream
The Weakerthans
Emarosa
Anvil
The Devil Wears Prada
Comeback Kid
Dance Gavin Dance
Four Year Strong
You Me At Six
Rolo Tomassi
Baroness
RX Bandits
Maximum The Hormone
The Creepshow
Anti-Flag
The Almost
The Aquabats
Whitechapel

kinda

kinda hoping tomorrow will be a better day than today.
phoebe and i had a mass LOL over our foodtech teacher today. it did make me laugh quite hard. and i played a lesbian in drama with elle, also quite fun.
another d&m to my beautiful tori this afternoon, who i feel totally sorry for, since i put my problems on her =(
BUT beth, myself and liam had maxibons. i love maxibons!
working tomorrow night.
i am putting my life into boxes shortly, otherwords im moving!
x

love.

love is when you feel like nothing else matters. like no one else matters.
love is when you realise you dont need or want anyone else.
love is blind and in the blink of an eye it can disappear.
love with the right person is endless, it has no end date.
to love, you need to be in-love. you have to know love.
love makes us happy, love makes us miserable, love tricks us, love can defy who we are.
not everyone can love. people who dont believe, will never recieve.
love is painful, love is confusing. love is easy and it can be hard.
if you dont understand, love will help you.
love makes the world go round...
i hate love

today

today is fathers birthday and i left school after period three to go out for lunch.
it was yumm, i had cesar salad (yummy) and un-ed the anchovies lol.
today is also my study free day. i need time to think and sort stuff out.
i thought i was going to be fine but about 5 minutes ago i relapsed... lately, being me isnt so easy. it's really really hard and i hate it. i hate the way i have been feeling.
i am begining to feel like there isnt a way out of the hole im stuck in.

Make you happy.

"and i hope this makes you happy now
that the flame we had is burning out
and i hope you like your pictures facing down
as even broken hearts may have their doubts"

it can be really hard to try and let go of someone who ment the world to you.
but it's a tiny bit better once you know you didnt mean the world to them.
but i can tell you, it is still so hard.
i cant sleep, i dont feel like eating and i keep looking at my phone for something, anything. but nothing. i am getting the message crystal clear.
this afternoon i went for a run (and believe me, i ran). i tried to run away, not from home but from myself. from my thoughts and from my mind. from my feelings and from my emotions. but it didnt work.
i realised today that running can make you feel better. today i ran out all my anger. i ran to let it all out because im sick of tears.
no person deserves my tears.

i treat others how i want to be treated. i treat others with the respect, love and honesty i thought i'd get back. but nothing. i spoil people in hope i would be spoiled back. i loved people in hope i'd be loved back.

you can never stop loving someone (although some people will disagree). and if you truly do love someone, that love is endless. there is no time frame.
there is no difference between being in-love and loving.
people who are in love know that.
people who arent, are kidding themselves.

Maybe, Secondhand Serenade.

Didn't you want to hear
the sound of all the places we could go
Do you fear
the expressions on the faces we don't know
It's a cold hard road when you wake up
and I don't think that I
Have the strength to let you go

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
that everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

There goes my ring
It might as well have been shattered
and I'm here to sing
about the things that mattered
about the things that made us feel alive for oh so long
about the things that kept you on my side when I was wrong

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
that everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

And someday, I promise I'll be gone
And someday, I might even sing this song
To you, I might even sing this song, to you
and I was crying alone tonight
and I was wasting all of my life just thinking of you
So just come back we'll make it better
So Just come back I'll make it
better than it ever was x2

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
that everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
that everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
makes me wish that I was never brought into this place
( I want it all, Don't leave right now)
(I'll give you everything)

Next few

the next few blogs will mainly be lyrics to certain songs i am currently listening too. they all have some meaning behind how i am currently feeling.
and sometimes i will write i bit below the lyrics.
so just a heads up guys!

Over.

Over by Jimmy Eat World.


I'm not exactly sure what I should say
Everything I do is a mistake
Your attention is attention (It doesn't matter if it's fake or real)
I'll take it if I get it, oh
I've made up my mind
I'll do it over any time

You're over it, over me
Present just physically
Last words from the dying scene
You're over me

You're over me

I really need to hear how great I am
Cause I can't even get up out of bed
Now say it like you mean it (Doesn't matter how I really feel)
Sing it back softly, oh
You got to be strong and I've been empty oh so long

You're over it, over me
Present just physically
Last words from the dying scene
You're over me

The old days all went bad
Rotted, wilted black
Before you'd have a chance to call
I'll be on the next train home
Add it to the endless list of all the things we'll never ever know

You're over it, over me
Present just physically
Last words from the dying scene
You're over me

You're over me
You're over me

just be in love

and i'll kiss you like you've always wanted...

two nights in a row!

two nights in a row that i've been out for dinner.
last night was to jays dinner for finishing trials and tonight was because it was dads turn to cook. although dad is usually a pretty good cook. today in foodtech i baked marshmellow slice. it was devine! absolute heaven! but it doesnt match nanny pennys marshmellow slice.
but today was a very chilly day. thank god i didnt listen to Nick, who told me not to wear stockings. but i did anyway because all boys are wrong. scientific fact.
at the moment im really in love with malcolm in the middle. it makes me laugh. and and i love sleeping.
it is good.
feel free to buy me season two of One Tree Hill.

i really want to go to taronga zoo, random i know but i want to!

good days

can anyone honestly have a good day? a day where nothing, and i mean nothing, goes wrong? i mean, we can have good moments in a day, and class that day as being a good day but i just dont think anyday can be perfect. just the same as no one can be perfect. the past 4 days i have locked myself in my room, watching one tree hill. i havent been 123% so hello Lucas lol.
today i am working at target then coming home and sleeping again. might go for a stroll, since it is a beautiful day.
i love beautiful days. days where it's cold, but with a warm breeze. days where the sun heats up my skin and days where the sunsets are majestic that you believe the good day, really is that.

Wednesday

I feel so sick. I am so tired but all ive done is sleep. I woke up this morning at 5am thinking i was going to be sick. I hate the feeling. I want snuggles and breakfast (not that i could keep it down) in bed. I want orange huice with tht pulp and i want cocopops with fresh strawberries!

Afternoon bliss!

Most days i go for walks in the afternoon. And today i enjoyed my walk so much!
Just the smell of the flowers coming out of bloom from the hot weekend, the bon fire a family were begining to make and the cold air gracefully gushing on my face..
It was so beautiful and the sunset made it even more so.
Phoebe said i had nice hair today... I was happy.
Hanfan is getting married and im a bridesmaide... I was happy.
Tori and Beth made me laugh... I was happy.

Today was a good day.

Hello Monday

this week is going to be really hard. assignments are due, working a little on the weekend. and it may not sound hard to you guys, but it is going to be one of the hardest for me. it isnt the assignments are working, it will be the realtiy i will face, the truth i dont want to hear, the honesty i so desperately wanted; now i dont.
but with honesty comes truth and reality and so be it if pain comes as well. we all make it through our lives with tiny fears, but also with the knowledge that there are some people out there in worser situations then ourselves.
we can only hope, pray, wish that things turn out for the best, certain things will change for the better and worries will be put to rest.
but it is all about staying calm, breathing and relaxing.
i am confident that things will work out. i am being and thinking positive and i have had a great day today by doing so...
i have realised some things are looked at too deeply, but we only look to far into things if we notice things are changing, arent the same.
we are to scared to pry, so we worry.
if only people were honest and straight up to begin with, none of this would have happend and escalated to point when it's "shit, do i call, do i bother them, are they thinking about me, have i done something wrong, can i fix it".
how feelings can change so quickly. it is unbelievable. how emotions you never thought you had can be found; unbelievble.

Top Five

Songs;
1. Lullaby- The Spill Canvas
2. Collide- Howie Day
3. Drive Away- The Sundance Kids
4. Dusk And Summer- Dashboard Confessionals.
5. Heartbeats- The Knife.

Movies;
1. Dirty Dancing
2. Transformers
3. Fragile
4. Ghost
5. Twilight

Places;
1. One Mile Beach
2. Manning Point
3. Melbourne
4. China Town, Sydney
5. Morpeth

Yes guys, i've been super slack in the "blogging" department.
I look forward to the week ahead and hopefully things will get back to normal...
I really want something sponaneous to happen. And i really am craving a passionmango boost. It is really unbelievable how much i am craving one. Im suprised in myself. Ha! Well i have 6 or so assignments for school and i have them allk under control.
Seriously going to injure the next person to ask me if im scared about the SC and how, if i am, shouldnt be. But i guess it is a stupid convosation starter.
There is no milk for me to have cocopops and im really upset with mum for that reason. Well, hello one vegemite toast and one nutella toast with orange juice!!
(Currently on my mind) I want a holiday. Take me somewhere please!!

Hello Wednesday

Hannah and i created a technique for de-stressing ourselves.
we'd write down are feelings at the time on piece of paper, or a letter to the person we were upset with and then have much enjoyment ripping the paper into tiny winy pieces.
i have to say i felt much better.
im so over everything at the moment. i cannot wait for the next few weeks to be over red rover.
i get home from school, watch Will And Grace, One Tree Hill or Dawsons Creek until i fall asleep. (yes of course i shower and eat).
Im in such a rut at the momemt and im dying to get out of it.
I love hearing about "Love Stuff". it makes me happy to hear that other people are happy with eachother.

im currently waiting, wanting, wishing; for something sponaneous to happen.


Ohh and Phoebe got a job interview with india!! me in china and her in india our food selections at lunch are going to be a hit!

"i was constructed for you..."

"I was constructed for you and you were molded for me".
My favorite lyric from Lullaby, The Spill Canvas.
That song makes me think of the beauty that can come out of relationships.
Love it! Love it! Love it!

Phoebe says my blogs are boring but she cant stop reading them.
I love it when phoebe complements me because she is the most honest person i know and i love that! Honesty is the best key.
I say the best key is one that allows me to enter my house HAHAHAHA, im soo funny.
Im glad it's a monday. Mondays to me (well like everyone else) mean a new begining to the week. But for me it means that i can forget the torture from last week and be happy for the week ahead.

I have realised that life is way too important to be wasted.
Only surround yourself with people that will make you cry with laughter, crack super lame jokes that you just love and people who you respect and love because they will respect and love you back.

i wouldnt mind

i wouldnt mind going to see angela's dish in concert. or anberlin for that matter.
im in a real "live music" mood and i love it!
tori is so lucky. she has a cute "person".
tori, beth and i, all love the kangaroos.
i love tori and beth =)

Quote

-things get wrose before they get better- hannah earl

Realist and Idealist

I am an idealist... (95% of the time)
I love the idea of how our thoughts take us to beautiful places and how we can dream of the perfect world that we have in our minds. I love the happiness that fills me when i think of the future, the positive events that i hope will happen.
A world so perfect it cannot be true. But yet, i still believe.
And realists are science people, statistical people who know that the world was created by matter, not God, that there is an answer for absolutely everything.
We can never be a realist or an idealist because in some cases their paths will cross.
I think that there is no harm what-so-ever in believing. I believe in forever, i believe that science is wrong sometimes.
There is no harm in believing in what we want. Whatever makes us happy should be the only thing that matters, regardless of the "real" result.
I have nothing against realists.
We are all entitled to our own opinions.
But sometimes it is good to think what we want.

Freedom of free thinking.

virgin blogger

Hello, Im Tayla and i am a virgin blogger.
This would have to be my first blog and i am very excited as i love raving on about anything and everything, so i think i will fit in here very well =)
My mind runs wild with so many ideas and dreams and feelings.
I have two amazing best friends, Tori and Beth, and many amazing close friends also.
I love the freedom of having my L's, with "freedom" being understated.
Mum sits next to me, trying to understand teenagers. I have to say, she is doing extremely well.
Weekends are spend lounging around. I NEED to escape, a holiday is cemented on my mind. I wouldnt mind if somebody turned up on my door step, with a map and loads of petrol.
My puppy bronson just licked my face. Ewwww and cute haha.
I truly want to travel more than anything and have the experience of the cultures. I want photo albums filed with photos of everything. I love spontaneous and am trying to be spontaneous myself.
Anyway, thats the introduction. I look forward to future blogs =)