Thursday, January 28, 2010

Love Is.

In Elegance states that love is;
something that can not be understood until you experience it. It is a wild ride of emotions, a passionate affection for each other that fills your every thought and action, and also a crushing and life-altering experience that changes you forever. It is something we search for our whole lives, and our expectations are nothing short of perfect moments that you only find in movies.
You always expect him to say the right thing, to go that little bit further to show how much he cares. To kiss you at your worst and appreciate you to no ends at your best. For him to chase you when you run and for him to apologize when he has hurt you. You expect so much that you feel entirely and utterly defeated when something doesn't meet your hopes and expectations. But that's what keeps you hooked, the kiss at the end of every fight and him standing there afterwards telling you it only made you stronger. It does not have an exact beginning and it certainly has no end to those deeply in it.

When you have fallen, the people around you can't comprehend why you do the things you do, or why you fight so hard for something that seems to cause you so much pain, because simply, they can't see. They can't see the invisible ring of insanity that surrounds you when you are in love.
It's inconvenient and painful and devastating at times, but we can't live without it. What you don't learn until you experience it is how hard love is. How much work it takes. How much of ourselves we have to put into it. How it isn't worth it until we are complete and utter idiots about it, when we are so head over heels that nothing else matters, you put his own well being before your own.

It is feeling sick when you even think of him with someone else. You have to remember that with love, you're not the only one involved. You've unknowingly put your life, your heart, and your soul into the palms of another persons hands and said “Here. Do what you will. I am yours", praying that they will take care with it.

Love is about the fighting and the tears and all the uncertainty and knowing that at the end of the day, it will be worth it.
Love is forgiving the unforgiveable and burying your pain to be with him no matter how much you are hurting.
Love, for those in it, has no end, it stays with you forever.

But if one day he decides to walk away, love can shake the very core of who you are and damage your faith in believing again. It is an emotion that becomes so shattering and so unbearable that you struggle to breathe and stay above the water. The reality of him - your other half, the one you had so many cute names for and memories with, not being there anymore - when it hits it hits harder than a truck. You are left lost, breathless and so betrayed. If he promised he would never leave and did, who should you trust?
Love is the weight you loose, the sleep you will never get back, the nightmares when you eventually do, and the anxiety that leaves you gripping at your chest and falling to your knees, leaving you with nothing but emptiness. It is the desperation that aches in every corner of your body and the downpour of fallen dreams.
Love is the best and worst thing in the world, if you have it, hold onto it and never let it go. But not too tightly or you will suffocate it. Do not make that mistake or you will spend the rest of your life regretting it.

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This is so true on so many different levels that it couldnt be worded more perfectly than it has been already. My favorite paragraph is this, which for those who know me, is pretty self explanatory;
Love is about the fighting and the tears and all the uncertainty and knowing that at the end of the day, it will be worth it.
Love is forgiving the unforgiveable and burying your pain to be with him no matter how much you are hurting.
Love, for those in it, has no end, it stays with you forever.

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