Monday, December 14, 2009

body clocks and eye masks.

My body clock is screwed. Last night i couldnt sleep as tired as i truly was, (maybe because of events that took place). I dont admire broken sleep or when you cant get to sleep and every bump in the night wakes up .The last time i glanced at the clock it was 4.44am. An awesome number but not when you wake up at 10am and cant get back to sleep. I trust my body clock on school days, always waking up without fail before my alarm goes off. But sometimes (times like these) i hate it. Im not tired but i know i will be when i have to go out tonight.
Recently i've been wearing eye masks to bed to stop me from waking me up when the sun cracks through my window every morning. It honestly really works too! I used to be scared that if i went to bed with an eye mask on, id think id have gone blind when i woke up because (obviously) my eyes would be dark. But i dont think im blind so BONUS!. but i dont know if it's the eye mask or something but it always creates curls in my hair. I blame it on the eye mask. Love it and the wonders it does!
Video Phone by Beyonce just came on and i like that song.... Youtube it my blog following children! I love music more than anything. I love the way it changes or creates moods.
At the moment, i dont know how to feel. Still in disbelief of what happened last night, wondering if they remember what happened; plans that were made and conversation that would have been said. I dont know how i am supposed to feel. Its numb. Its 'what do i do if he was lying' or ' i dont know if i can take dissapointment again because its too hard'.
I dont know... But my way of thinking is always positive so positivity should hopefully make everything right. I just cant take another dissapointment again. But im getting naive and ahead of myself. I believe that whatever happens so that way, i wont experience dissapointment..
Right now, im sitting in neutral.

No comments:

Post a Comment